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Several factors cloud perspectives on BDSM and make it all the more difficult for the feminist women involved. For a start, pornography is not the most accurate portrayal of the scene. Sure it’s hot, and I’m a big proponent of porn, but it’s helpful to consider the differences between a kinky scene of whips and chains on the set of an adult entertainment film and incorporating similar stuff into a real life relationships. That is, porn will cut straight to the juicy middle of the action hot XXX material, but in reality (at least when you’re trying it out for the first time) there’s a whole lot of less sexy stuff either side. Boundaries established, safe words outlined, choices made and consent declared. Now, this can come about as a casual conversation and needn’t be a signed contract, but nevertheless it happens and makes a big difference to the personal security and state of mind of all participants.

Similarly, I doubt many practitioners of bondage and discipline get up and go about their day qualm free immediately after a session, or even roll over and go to sleep. Fetish clubs have ‘aftercare’ rooms for a reason. Sex involving BDSM is bound to be intense, and as part of a relationship where the ‘normal’ power dynamic is very different from the ‘sexual’ one even more so. The sex I have with my partner is genuinely scary, genuinely painful and I couldn’t be happier with this. But it means the attention I need afterwards is heightened and different from more typical sex. I need reassurance and comfort, and my partner knows this and will always provide.

letthetruthlaugh:

PETA is planning to start a porn site to advocate veganism. What does porn have to do with being vegan? Absolutely nothing, but PETA just has a long history of using sex and exploitation to send out their message because otherwise no one would give a fuck about anything these assholes had to say. 

Like always, if you have to use fat shaming and the objectification of women to sell your ideas, your ideas aren’t any good. 

(via leonhascal)